DemolitionNews kindly donates random excuse generator to explosive demolition sector.
In the right hands and on the right day, explosive demolition can be as destructive as the Hand of God and as precise as the hand of a neurosurgeon. In the wrong hands or on the wrong day, it is the demolition equivalent of setting loose an exploding bull amidst the Royal Doulton china display at your local department store. In short, stuff can go wrong.
During the past few years, we have heard just about every conceivable explanation for an explosive stand-up or partially or wholly failed implosion. We’ve had buildings that are too strong, too strong or too brittle; we’ve had structures that are too close to roads, railway lines and the Earth’s core; and our particular favourite – one which is virtually impossible to disprove – there were unseen cracks in the building that we were not aware of.
Indeed, it seems that some explosive demolition companies spend more time cooking up excuses with varying degrees of plausibility than they do in preparing a building sufficiently well to negate the need for such excuses.
However, it is our opinion that these excuses lack a degree of originality and creative flair. So, as a further contribution to the industry, we have compiled our own Random Excuse Generator (or REG, as we like to call it) that is free to all.
To use it, simply choose one of the following reasons for your chosen incident as follows- Our *failed implosion/partial stand up/errant dust cloud was caused by (insert from list below):
*Delete as applicable
• Gremlins/Pixies/Zombies/Demons/Squirrels
• Sunspots
• Divine Intervention
• A disturbance in the Force
• Negative alignment of the planets
• Dark matter
• A temporary breach of the space/time contiunuum
• Global warming/El Nino
• A voodoo or Native American curse
• Tractor beams
• Witchcraft
• Industrail sabotage
• An alien lifeforce
• ADHD/OCB
• Kim Jong Un
You’re welcome
