30-storey West Palm Beach tower implosion on hold over excessive insurance demands.
The explosive demolition of a 30-storey condominium building in West Palm Beach has been thrown into turmoil after city officials demanded $50 million of insurance cover.
You can read the full account of the story here or you can read our own take on how we imagine the conversation between city and contractor went, below:
City Official: OK, so we’ve read through your plans and that all looks to be in order.
Contractor: Good. When can we start.
City Official: Whoa, hold on there fellah. There’s a few things we need to get straight first.
Contractor: OK
City Official: First, you’ve done this kind of work before right?
Contractor: Absolutely. Hundreds of times.
City Official: So you know we’re going to need detailed method statements, risk assessments. All that kind of thing?
Contractor: Sure, no problem.
City Official: Good. We also have a few very specific requirements for this project too.
Contractor: OK. Shoot.
City Official: Well, we think circular exclusiion zones are just so 80s. So we’d like a trapezoidal exclusion zone. We reckon that would look real pretty from the air.
Contractor: Erm, OK.
City Official: And this here condo is such an eyesore and we’re keen that we shouldn’t replace one eyesore with another. So we’d like you to ensure that what we’re left with isn’t so much rubble…more pixie dust.
Contractor: Hmmm…
City Official: In fact, while you’re about it, we’d really like this entire job to be as environmentally sensitive as possible. So we’d prefer it if you didn’t use traditional explosives and used tiny heart-shaped firecrackers made from hummingbird tears instead.
Contractor: ???
City Official: Oh, and one last thing. You’re going to need $50 million of insurance cover.
Contractor: ARE YOU ON CRACK!!??
